The Parisian Society

No I am not talking about the city of Paris and its citizens. I am talking about the age of Paris that we live in. Here are some vignettes.

"Were you a frat boy who partied and drank a lot? Had an influential father? Had bad grades? George how would you like to be the president?", asked Rove.

"You played a reporter in a cartoon movie...you don't want to go to the Middle East to report because it's too dangerous...you did pastry puff pieces on morning shows...Katie you will be the perfect fit for our lead anchor role.", said the president of the CBS to Couric.

Then there is Anna Nicole plastered over every news network supposedly a modern day tragedy. A woman who wanted half of a billionaire's estate because she was married to him for less than two years, who claimed she owned a home where a millionaire had let her reside, who wanted to be adopted by a prince so she could be a princess, and who most likely took her daughter away from her real father is being hailed as the nicest soul.

Britney are you feeling neglected and want to be the life of the tabloids again? Party with Paris and take a few pointers. Forget the soul and bear some more.

Lindsay how dare you cross Paris with only seven million to your name?

Paris of Troy that embodiment of physical vanity pales in comparison. In Rome you may do as the Romans but when in Paris wear a condom.

Rove Strategy Against Obama Leaked

Memo: Starting the 2008 Campaign.

We need to control the Obama situation before it gets out of hand. At this stage of the election cycle we need to ensure two things.

1. He needs to be criticized but not directly by the republicans (so they don't appear petty). Start with our foreign allies. Give Howard a call and see if he will do it for us.

2. Associate his name with something negative in the American mind. Here are some slogans:

I. Stop Obama Stop Osama
II. Obama: Only a BS exchange away from Osama

Carl [sic] Rove
White House Office of Strategic Lies

Cloning Experiments

The first clone experiment: Howard (born 1939)was cloned and the world was blessed with Chenney (born 1941). The clone it seems has been eating a little bit more than the original. People have been puzzled by Howard's comments on Obama. The original was just coming in to fight for his clone.

Of course the second clone experiment was when they cloned Bush and got Ponting.

The Acceptable Umpire

There was a time, not so long ago, when the home board used to appoint the umpires. The visiting sides sometimes complained bitterly about the bias of the home umpire. That led to Imran Khan pushing for neutral umpires. It worked well most of the time until now. With the Hair saga and the forfeited match and Hair's ridiculous contention of racism against him the time has come for the next step: An umpire does not have to be neutral in the sense that he belongs to neither of the participating countries. He has to be neutral in the sense that both boards believe in his impartiality. So instead of the ICC appointing umpires for a series the participating countries should choose mutually acceptable umpires. The ICC should develop and keep a large pool of umpires from which the participating countries can then choose mutually acceptable umpires.
Let Australia and England pick Hair (not possible under current rules on neutral umpires since he is an Australian) for their ties against each other. Many there believe he is the best umpire around. That will take him out of the hair of other countries where he is considered biased and by some fans as racist (again in my opinion this is a stretch). That should make all the countries happy and Hair can resume his umpiring career at the international level.