Thursday, October 21, 2010

Art of Fielding

Vaughn is taking a step forward in his art career. His new set of paintings will be displayed under the title "The Art of Fielding".

"These are the actual field placements that I set as a captain.", Said Vaughn. For promotional purposes one of the paintings has been released early. "They will be priced in the same range as my Artballing paintings.", Vaughn explained to the assembled art reporters and critics.

Close in Field. £ 149.

Disclaimer: Parody. The painting is not really by Vaughn but you can definitely buy it for £ 149.



Monday, September 27, 2010

Tamper if You Will

England players, PCA, ECB, ICC, MCC and add a few more initials will stay away from the Shoaib tampering charge. Or if they are smart they will. Even Cricinfo has played it down.

Why?

I have not seen any videos yet but the pictures suggest that at worst it is no worse than what Anderson and Broad were doing in South Africa.

What was the punishment meted out to Anderson and Broad?

Nothing. Also the initials mentioned above have two apparently, relatively strong cases with the no ball issue and Butt's statement. At this point they would not like to muddy the waters with anything else. With Anderson and Broad's activities being fairly recent it will open a can of worms that all those initials above would not like brought forward at this point. The initials above have never been about complete transparency. Only when it suits them. For example no transparent investigation of the Oval fiasco was carried out. What did Fletcher and Proctor talk about and what did Proctor pass on to Hair that morning. Was there undue influence. What was Proctor doing negotiating with the team while the umpires were lifting bails. Or Koertzen's remarks alleged by Hair in his show-the-media trial. How was the ICC system of appointing umpires rigged that Hair got so many consecutive appointments to Pakistan's games. Why did the MCC call a laws committee meeting. The laws were not in doubt there was nothing to clarify which is the primary and stated reason for this committee. It was largely used as a political instrument to change the ICC decision where the ICCs own head just elected suddenly became a proponent of change though he kept very quiet in the run up to the election. The list is large.

But isn't this a form of cheating?

The way the law is written is pretty much the same as the don't ask don't tell policy of the US military. You can be labelled and punished as a tamperer without any evidence yet you are allowed to carry on as long as you deny being one and the umpires do not deem you one, arbitrarily. If ICC and MCC really consider this an offense they should have a much severe punishment. If to some extent it is considered an art then accept it.

Monday, August 09, 2010

England's Swann Song

England finally have a good spinner. He was on target, he was attacking, and he spun the ball. With the Pakistani batsmen more worried about the swing I don't know how many paid attention to Mushtaq's assessment of Swann but they surely should now.

Umar Akmal's (who is doing plenty for the bowlers on his own in this series) wicket apart his wicket taking deliveries were really wicket taking deliveries. A few more matches like the last four and the younger Akmal may be singing his swan song.

A Very Broad Nuisance

Broad as usual Made a nuisance of himself and again his infractions were mostly ignored by the officials.
1. Bowls and starts to celebrate with team mates never turning around to look at the umpire. On the appeal being declined (whether it could be said to be a decline since there was no appeal will be determined by the MCC). Then no challenge from England and the replays show, as Lala Ammarnath would say, that you can fit a football in the gap between bat and ball. The officials take no action (Though on a similar offense Asif got a 10% match fee fine and he at least had the wicket).

2. Turns eventually very, very late as an after thought on an appeal against Haider.

3. Walks all over the pitch as he returns from his follow through which to begin with finishes in the center of the pitch.

4. Throws the ball at Haider as he stands in the crease hitting him in the shoulder. Finally Madugalle gives him fine. Said Madugalle, "I understand the frustrations of a bowler in the heat of the moment but as an international sportsman one needs to control these emotions whatever may be the situation and always respect the opponent."

If this batting lineup is frustrating Broad then Broad needs a psychological evaluation. Said Broad, "It was the ball that invaded Haider's personal space, not me."

A Lineup to Defeat England

Pakistan does have the batsmen that can score above 400 runs. They are just not picking them. The following lineup will also enhance a strong bowling unit.


Waqar Younis* (Comes out of retirement to lead the side)
Tanveer Ahmad
Wahab Riaz
Zulqarnain Haider
Mohammad Amer
Saeed Ajmal
Umar Gul
Aaqib Javed (Another retiree makes a return)
Mohammad Asif
Danish Kaneria (Iffy but he can score a 0 too so has a case)
Umar Amin (included as a bowler)

They're all there. They won't even have to fly anyone in.

Friday, August 06, 2010

England Switches to Kookaburra for the Remaining Series

English batsmen were complaining they weren't getting enough batting since the Dukes were too hazardous for Pakistan.

ICC Anounces Test Status for Afghanistan, Ireland, Scotland and Netherlands

In a short press release today ICC announced test status for Afghanistan, Ireland, Scotland and Netherlands. It said that with their batting lineups at least surpassing the standard of one full member it was time to grant them test status.

the release further stated that China made a strong case for full membership but the ICC board felt this would increase the size of the board too quickly. China's status will be reconsidered next year.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

The Australian Rethink

The bowling was toothless, the batting uncertain but the belief was still there. But for Pakistan's ultra-weak batting succumbing to Watson and North and Pakistan's inability to finish anything off Australia might have lost the series. Australia will have to rethink their bowling options.

There will be some thoughts on Ponting and how long he can go on and North may get some rest.

The debutants did well. There is something very odd about the way Smith bats though. His bat, his body, his positioning is ... weird.

YoYo and Other Conundrums

Barely, but finally, Pakistan pulled it off. With another influential series coming up they do have many immediate questions to ponder.

First, what of Younis and Yousuf. There certainly is at least one opening in the team. The position held in the last match by Afridi and in this match by Malik is still up for grabs. The Malik/Afridi spot should probably go to an all rounder but neither Razzaq nor Tanvir has been in form with the bat and with the newness of the lineup it may be too bold to try a new all rounder even if one is good enough. Also the thinness of the top order demands a pure batsmen and the strength of the bowling allows it. The question is can the YoYo fit "socially" with the new setup?

The debutants did well. Azhar Ali should retain his place and even Umar Amin deserves an extended run at this point.

Umar Akmal will retain his place but he should do something fast unless he wishes to be another flash in the pan. He can take a few pointers from his contemporary Aamer who has gone from strength to strength. Akmal the younger needs to use his head more and not be just a clone of Akmal the elder. That would not be good enough to retain a place in the test side.

The bowling lineup looks good. Waqar and Aaqib deserve praise for all their work. Whenever Waqar has been the coach the bowlers have done well. Akram too deserves a pat for discovering Aamer. Aamer for the first time looked like a complete bowler. There was potential before and some very good spells but this time around he was consistently very good.

Asif did par for what is expected from him. Gul too. The problem is the moody nature of Gul's bowling. It remained so.

Kaneria didn't have much of a part to play in this series. The problem with the bowling may be that of depth. If not these guys then who. Ajmal does not yet appear to be a strike bowler at test level and any niggles and injuries to the fast bowling lineup will mean the addition of another debutant in all likelihood.

The series against England could be interesting if the players have and are willing to learn. They will need to close out innings when bowling and they will need scores far exceeding the 250 mark. England will be a far more bloody minded opponent than this Australian side. It would be interesting to see which ball the English pick considering Pakistan's recent bowling successes. The weakness of Pakistan's batting probably does not make it a hard question though.

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Finish Line

Pakistan's bowling was always decent. However, it too has suffered the inability, in the last few years, to finish things off. It again was confronted with that situation today and had its problems.

Its hard to say whether the first innings score is par for this lineup or it let slide a sure thing. Watson again was there in Balaji's avatar. The second outing has seen a fairly decent start but a couple of late wickets and Pakistan's weakest suit, neither bowling nor batting but the ability to finish things off, will be tested yet again.

This way or that Pakistan have come close to a victory. Closer perhaps than in any of the cases in which they have let it pass them by. The debutants and the young players have done well so far. Can they pull off what their elders failed to do time and again? This could be a seminal moment in the development or coming apart of a young team.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Muralitharan

Muralitharan brings Sri Lanka to the verge of being number one as his era ends. If Sri Lanka take this test then a 1-0 or better result in the remaining games would put Sri Lanka on top.

After all was said and done the remaining critics refrain was, "But he has not been tested in match conditions."

But neither have most of the other bowlers including greats like McGrath who were shown to have 11-12 degrees of flexion and let's face it the game would be rather bland and dead if only Sarwan clones were allowed to bowl. In match testing will have to wait for its day and what it may have to say about "regular" bowlers may keep Muralitharan's name in the discussions on actions for a long time to come. For now he can rest a bit after leaving Sri Lanka in a position of strength unknown to it before. The Indians should heap as many honour guards as they can to snuff out any wistful feelings for a return for the rest of the series.

Cricinfo's Mixed-up Its Writers

Andy Zaltzman seems to be one of the more objective writers at cricinfo while the likes of Gideon Haigh and Mukul Kasavan seem to be doing comedy routines.

Then there is the "Views from Outside" which are so bland that they seem to be written by Make Hollowmanuscripts.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Springing Tiger Painfully Apparent Dragons

By Roger Ebert

This move reminds me of the movie Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Except Aamer is not crouching but springing and the dragons, Ponting and Broad, were not really hidden but rather apparent. So it was really Springing Tiger and Painfully Apparent Dragons. So a thumbs up for the springing tiger and two thumbs down for the dragons.

The Kiss and Drawing a Foul

By Dr. Phil McGraw

People let me break this down for you. There has been a lot of controversy on the issue between Mr. Pon-ting, and Mr. Aaaa-mer, and Mr. Broaaad. Let me break it down. To Mr. Pon-ting this was like a kiss. Mr. Aaaa-mer leaned in 90% and Mr. Pon-ting reciprocated with the remaining 10% thus establishing contact.

On the other hand to Mr. Aaaa-mer this was like drawing a foul in basketball. He went in close with a feint evoking a contact from Mr. Pon-ting.

And Mr. Broaaad, I don't know what you were thinking. Come on now. Whether you think it is a kiss or drawing a foul your actions do not make sense. You are the referee. Yes you are. You are like the breath between the kiss; don't act like the elbow toss in the drawing of the foul. Ok.

A Hair is Born (Or the Growth of a Hair)

By Daryl Hair

I was ecstatic to see Broad's proactiveness in dealing with the diabolical Aamer. Indeed two times showing up close to the batsman can only be described as diabolical even though it is true that the second time it was actually Ponting getting in the final elbow.

I am amused that the Pakistanis made the same mistake that they made against me. They have not filed a written complaint with the ICC on Broad's unevenhandedness. This will allow Broad to continue in my ways until someone facing him is not a seventeen year old and someone who has a career already behind him and can take Broad on. But here is the fun part. ICC can then claim that no written complaints were ever made by the PCB against Broad. Which surely means everything is good.

The Ponting incidence was minor. Ponting has been doing the personal space bit for a while. The real story which everyone has missed is Broad. I can only smack my lips and be happy seeing another Hair grow in front of me. Ah the joys of being a cricket authoritarian.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Defense of Ponting Act

One rather extraordinary claim has been that Ponting putting his elbow out there was rather a defensive act.

To illustrate here is Symonds tackle of the streaker. The elbow is jutted out to make contact not as a defence mechanism.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EW4mSNBeMYM&NR=1

Or see any number of baseball collisions. At the home plate where there is a deliberate attempt to impede the path of the onrushing player the elbow usually makes its appearance. In cases where the attempt is to avoid collision the motion is to try to move the body out of the path of collision. If the collision is about to happen and there is no way to get out of its path then there may be some bracing. In this case, as Aamer's action showed, there was ample time to get out of the way. There is no bracing by Ponting but rather a jutting out of the elbow (Elbow toss). In fact one could argue it was an attempt to reach out and touch someone.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Examples of Personal Space in Cricket

By Chris Broad

Recently there has been some controversy about what is personal space in cricket. As a referee who has some knowledge of this I was recently asked how is the personal space defined. I thought the best way to illustrate this was by giving examples of it. So here are some recent examples:

1. Clarke's neck is Katich's personal space.
2. Lee's back is Symonds personal space.
3. West Indies' bowlers shirts and abdomens are Ponting's personal space.
4. Asif's raised arm is Ponting's personal space.
5. Infact the whole pitch is Ponting's personal space.

I was also asked why I did not warn Ponting after two incidents as I had done with Aamer. There were two reasons. One Aamer did it in euphoria and Ponting did not look up in dejection. Second, see number 5 above.

I hope this will bring some clarity to the situation.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

In Memorium of the Mother Defence

Ponting, still smarting from Harbhajan's defence but impressed by it, has come up with the elbow toss defense not that he needed to do so in Broad's presence. The elbow toss defence? To relax I do hula hoop tricks. After getting out, to release the tension, I was just practicing my hula technique.

Evidence presented:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ww21je_rlHo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbIT5_K66w0&feature=related

Broad Minded View

"It has happened twice now so we as a playing control team thought it would be sensible for me to have a word with him. He accepted it graciously and undertook to avoid a repeat occurrence. As far as we are concerned the issue is now closed."

http://www.cricinfo.com/pakistan-v-australia-2010/content/current/story/467275.html

I thought it only happened once:) The second time Aamer was not the one initiating contact. No warnings for the Elbow Toss?:)

So let's see the exuberance of an eighteen year old gets a warning but the uncouthness of someone twice his age is considered personal space?:)

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Rime of the Ancient Cricketer

By Ricky Thomas Ponting Punter-Tosser

Excerpts:
...

At length I threw an Elbow Toss,
Through the wog it came;
As I have a cranky old soul,
Only the lad was to blame.

...

A good south thought sprung up in my mind;
The Elbow Toss did follow,
Every day, instead of fair play,
It comes to the cricketers hollow!

...

'God save me, the ancient cricketer,
From the fiends that plague me thus!—
Why look'st thou so?'—"With my cross brow
I shot the Elbow Toss."

...

Ah! well-a-day! what evil looks
Had I from old and young!
Instead of the cross, the Elbow Toss
About my neck was hung."

...

'Is it he?' quoth Broad, 'Is this the man?
Laid low by his wicket's loss,
Who threw with a cute breezy flow
The harmless Elbow Toss."

...

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

The Never Ending Story

A complex story at that with many subplots.




1. Axiom: No One Country Should Dominate


Finally Howard has found the right answer. It is probably lost on him though that his own nomination comes courtesy of domination of NZC by CA.



Howard follows it up with, "They've got to pay regard to what's happened, given that we had apparently put in place a procedure for choosing by rotation the president and vice-president of the ICC, and that appears to have been pushed to one side in the last week," Howard told Channel Nine. "But equally they've got to look at the future of the game."



He conveniently does not include the ratification as the part of the procedure which, perhaps in some perverse sense, does try to exclude the domination of one country: Just because it is your turn and you nominate does not mean you get to force through a nomination which others have an issue with (even if the issues are not flawlessly presented).



Now the rules are rules community (a burgeoning breed among cricket enthusiasts and administrators) should be perfectly fine with this. They've told us before that if someone is given the procedural power to do something and does it then it must be upheld no matter what the reality of the situation. This was the procedure and the opponents do not have to explain their objections.



However, fairness (something even above procedure and rule and the ultimate law unto itself), demands that Howard be given a straight answer. To begin with the letter that the six boards wrote should be made public to see what the boards actually said. Certainly if it is idiotic then CA would at least in time leak it if it does not come from the ICC. The ICC should make the letter public.



The problem with Howard finding the truth about the unfairness of domination is his history. If one always find the answer that always favors one, others have to scratch their heads. Now we have been told that his support of apartheid sports is old history. We are told he reformed a long time ago and then in fact acted against Zimbabwe in that spirit. Perhaps. But let us follow the steps taken by him over the last thirty years on this issue.



Howard first supports apartheid cricket with South Africa.



With no pronouncements in the intervening years we find that when it comes to Zimbabwe Howard is for sanctions because he believes that the sanctions work as he learned from the South African experience. This also meant end of non-interference in sports for him because Mugabe's board should not get 2 million dollars.



Finally when nominated for the presidency of the ICC Howard flies in clandestinely to meet the head of Mugabe's board. Now in the name of bringing Zimbabwean cricket back into the fold. This apparently because now things have changed and Mugabe's own sports minister criticizes Mugabe (Not an apology for Mugabe but what kind of lame dictator allows his own minister to speak against himself:) Usually they avoid doing that in public even in democracies especially when the issue involves another country. Mugabe should resign straight away and put himself in line for ICC presidency. After all its better to be not a dictator especially if you are a lame one and ICC seems to be the collection of lame dictators according to Haigh). Yet all the gregariousness had to wait until Howard needed a vote.



Finally once rejected he proclaimed that his support of the Zimbabwe ban was a badge of honor (but not before the vote).



It would be a lot easier to take Howard's new found faith in equality at face value if his positions when shifting by a hundred and eighty degrees did not always favor him. As Bertrand Russell noted about one of the prime ministers of England: He always finds God on his side of the argument (paraphrasing).



Howard continues, "I think it is very important we understand there's got to be a fair sharing of responsibilities and no one part of the world, no one country, should dominate. "
"People in the past criticised the fact it was dominated by England and Australia and now we don't want to replace one perceived domination with another. "



Perhaps he would unfold his manifesto for election to the presidency. Perhaps it will have something about abolishing the domination of CA, CSA, in running the Champion's League. CSA and CA were too ready to let the BCCI have its cake just as long as they got a tiny share of it. The rest be damned. They are too inconsequential to ask for anything. Perhaps he will tell us that in the interest of fairness he will do his utmost for an ICL revival pushing for its acceptance as a member of the ICC.





2. The Cricket of Politics


Cricket administrators since the stance in support of apartheid in the sixties have been telling us on and off that politics and sports should be kept separate. Yet again politicians failed to keep their mouths shut. John Key came up with this gem:



Key said in a radio interview Friday that Howard would be a "fantastic" leader of world cricket and urged him to stand again.



In essence encouraging a deadlock. Perhaps next he would like to comment on Murali's action.




On Anderson, Justin Vaughn held the opposite view:"He is a busy man," Vaughan said. "The ICC president's role takes a lot of time if you want to do it well. The other point is the events of the last week have probably made the ICC not quite as attractive a proposition to people as it was. "
"I imagine there would be a bit of hesitancy from anyone to put their name forward because you never know if it is going to be torpedoed. "



So the ICC presidency is not good enough for Anderson but Howard should keep fighting for it.







Then Gillard piped in: "John Howard, passionate, passionate cricket fan. I share some of the concerns he's voiced publicly about the kind of factors that are influencing this decision,"
Since she shares only some of the concerns she should have elaborated on which ones. Perhaps the journalists should have asked her.







3. The Journalistic Wars


Now the journalists are at each others throats. Haigh, in his rabid support for Howard, went after some guy named Alvi writing for Dawn.



He continued with further Haighlelujas in Howard's defence.



Which prompted Bhogle to launch into a BCCI defence the basic premise of which was everyone who had power misused it and so it shall be so don't complain about BCCI misusing it.


And now Bal and Kasavan (the hindsight expert) have jumped in with harsher treatments.





The Australian and Indian journalists are at each other and no one seems to be exercising the journalistic detachment. Perhaps they all consider themselves more of opinion piece writers.


4. I'll Race You


It was not going to be long before race relations were going to enter the debate. The Afro-asian block vs the colonial masters; Who votes with whom on how regular a basis based on race. whether the 7-3 split confirms that the seven are racists or the three. Whether Howard is a closet racist or just an opportunist. To their credit no one has talked about the sports minister of Zimbabwe supporting CA's cause rather than ZCs.



5. Not the Real Story


The latest news suggest that Howard might withdraw or that the CA will withdraw and nominate someone else. Whether he does or not...whether he gets the presidency or not. This is a tiny issue only useful in highlighting the nature of relationships within the ICC and in the larger cricket world. But no one is yet talking about the most important issue that the ICC has either let go or has been powerless to do anything about but which is likely to make it even less relevant and more ineffective. An issue that will render the lesser boards even lesser. On that next time.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Kuch un ki jaffa'on nay loota

The story of Pakistan's trip to Australia:



Kuch un ki jaffa'on nay loota

http://www.cricinfo.com/ausvpak09/content/image/446371.html?object=406184;page=2



Kuch apni inayat mar gai.


Pakistan not only gifted wickets in the usual sense but gave new meaning to the term by gifting wickets to the Australian batsmen.

The Balaji effect was in full force as well with every Mckay, Hauritz, Harris taking wickets.

Monday, February 01, 2010

Skin Care for Cricketers



A cream for coarser and more abrasive hands. We now turn our attention to the oft neglected skin care for cricketers. The cream guarantees a high resolution sandpaper skin for those oh so hard to bowl on pitches. Acts quicker than it takes to prepare a dead pitch. See your new alligator skin emerge from the soft hands of a cricket writer within days. Now also available in fast acting variety for results within hours.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Sink or Swim

Pakistan's ODI squad has not done much better than the test one; their ranking is the same in either format though the gap between number seven and number four in ODIs is minuscule. The question is whether the rot that is well set in the test side will make its way to LO cricket squads or not. Anything less than at least a win while the ODI series is alive or a Twenty20 win would confirm the rot.

Will the return of Afridi and Younis and the change of format make a difference? Younis has not done much since his break but Afridi has been in good touch and in touch with Australian cricket. The strange thing is that as uncontrolled as Afridi's head has been during his career he may be the pillar to rally around. But these are strange days and must account for strange saviors. At this stage the team needs to get rid of the timorous soul that possesses it and for that Afridi may be the exorciser.

Pakistani players can come out with an attitude of a point to prove after their exclusion from IPL or they could let it get to them. It will be a test of their character. They could concentrate their minds on the only job they have at hand or lose all perspective. They should be clear in their minds what they have. They are cornered as never before.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Shahid Afridi Sings

(If you can't sign you can at least sing)

IPL say nikala gaya
Boli day kay mara gaya

Ishq IPL say kia to soach lay
Tu to bay moat mara gaya

Mujh ko khazanay ka day kar faraib
Moat kay ghat utara gaya

Moat say bhi jo na mar saka
Lalit ki nazaron say mara gaya

Main nay mur kar bhi na daikha kabhi
Nam lay kay pukara gaya

The Original:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTKCOGQnumI

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

For Sale

(Lalit Modi at the bidding box)

One player for sale!
One player for sale!
One trying and skillful player for sale!
I'm really not kidding,
So who'll start the bidding?
Do I hear a dollar?
A nickel?
A penny?
Oh, isn't there, isn't there, isn't there any
One who will buy this fantastic player for sale,
This champion and master young player for sale?


With apologies to Shel Silverstein.